Meadow's Fawn
by moosie49
Summary: Around the time of new moon... Yeah, the series is over, but my mind is still in the "What if this happened...?" mode, so this is my "What if Edward came back...?" ONESHOT, so he comes back, but that's it.


AN: Considering I already know, as do many others, that the series is over and this already happened, this may sound stupid. I did this, just experimenting on what would happen if Edward ever came back to see Bella in the meadow, crying piteously. It may Be be dreadfully horrible, buy we'll see. Its pretty short, and is not my best. I guess I'll see how it goes. And now….. To the story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MEADOW'S FAWN.

……………………………….....

Shadows dance upon the millions of blades of grass that I lay on. I can't tell if the wind is blowing the grass or whatever made the shadow, one of them, or both, however, are moving. It's a calming motion to watch. This meadow, this heaven on earth, this being the last of connections to him, is what is making me contemplate and ponder my situation. It's making me ponder my choices in life, not making me wonder whether being with Edward was a mistake, because I know that wasn't, but making me wonder whether my choices were right. Is the happiness of others worth so much pain? I'll have to say yes, because Charlie and Jacob matter so much. What is really the question is if life is worth so much pain. Yes, to that once again. There is always a chance he'll change his mind, a chance that Jacob could one day become hurt by so many other things. Somehow, I will protect him.

My skills are limited in a situation like this. Let me explain. My heart tells me that forgetting is wrong, my mind that it is important for me to do so, that my sanity is in question should I not forget, should I not put him out of my mind. Jacob is here for me, my mind says. Why should I give him less than he deserves, a broken person? My heart is saying, though it really means, why would I choose Jacob if I know I can't love him the way I should in that kind of a relationship?

Let my sanity be brushed away from me forever, or until he comes back, for all I care! Who needs sanity if they are so unhappy? Just give my sanity away to someone else who needs it.

I hear a sound from the trees to my right, a slight whoosh that would be hardly noticeable if Edward were here.

"Who is it?" I ask. I hope it's not Jacob. He doesn't need to see me like this, so submerged in depression, so lost and alone.

From the darkness emerged a dear. A fawn, a darling dear.

I begin to talk to it, just talk because I need to talk to something, or I would break down to Jacob or Charlie, and how would they take it? Not well.

"I miss him so much. I never realized what it was like for him, but he must have felt this pain every time he tried control his vampire instincts. To think someone that wonderful would ever come to love me, let alone love me on contact. Imagine, little dear, that I had put him through hell because he needed to be strong enough for his family, nothing to do with me…" I began to cry, long, unbroken streams of tears.

"If I had known I would have never put him through that. I can't do anything, and the worst part is I still wouldn't give up the time I had with him. Never. It's just something I can't change, something unfortunate is happening to me. I can't promise that I'll keep safe anymore, Edward."

I remembered that I was still talking to a fawn who, looking on in fascination, for some reason, hadn't run away. "I think, at some point, he did love me a little, though he left, so I must assume it diminished at some point. Maybe when James put me and the entire family in danger. Maybe because it would break the treaty if it looked like he had lost control, then the Quiliettes would take action against his family. What I don't understand is why they put up with me, the vamp girl -I mean Jacob and all of them- when they didn't have to. I know Jacob loves me, I don't think Billy likes me much, and I know Quill and Embry do, too.

"Why, little fawn, do people fall in love with each other?"

"I don't know."

I screamed. That horribly familiar voice was in my mind again. That sweet, missed voice. I wasn't even doing anything dangerous.

Then I looked up.

He was there, though I'm sure it was a hallucination.

"Edward?" My lips trembled as I said his name.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't know, didn't understand. I am a horrible person."

"Why…?"

"I was protecting you, I didn't mean to make you cry."

"Are you staying with me?" I asked, afraid to move, a little afraid to speak. He might disappear.

"How can you ask that? How can you not hate me? If you still want me, I'll stay forever."

"Edward," I said, crying harder, "I love you. I want you all the time, forever, tomorrow, two weeks from now, even if you leave again, I can't do anything but love you."

He came near, cautiously, and finally, after so many months, embraced me. I was finally whole again.


End file.
